Hello there.. I'm Evan. My life was perfect till I ruined it. I loved this guy so much. He loved me and we were just perfect together! I remember when him and I first Skype. Damn, he looked so amazing and beautiful, well he always does! Anyways that was the first time I ever talked to him besides over texting. I suddenly fell in love with him and I told him that I want to meet in person and get to know each other more and maybe date later in the future. He was totally on board with it! I was scared and very nervous! I didn't know what to do. When I first saw him, he was on his phone texting me and standing there waiting to finally see me. Unfortunately, we didn't get to see each other at the same time, but it was still perfect! We had a great time hanging out even though both of us was very nervous! At the end of our meet, Him and I made it official! We were dating! :)
I remember when him and I went to Homecoming together. I was nervous as hell! As long as he was beside me, I felt amazing! That night, I wasn't feeling well, but that didn't stop us either! Him and I went on the dance floor and started to dance. The came the slow song... we slow danced. I remember looking into his beautiful and I mean beautiful eyes. I knew there, he was perfect! I wanted to be with him forever!! He leaned down a little and kissed me while we danced. With the kids around us probably thought ew them gays are kissing. We didn't care at all! We imagined it was just us there. The night was perfect!! One day, he was very upset. He was about to cry. I pulled myself up to him and hugged him. I picked him up and put him in my lap. It felt like I was holding him like a baby, but I didn't care, I was there for him. I cradled him in my arms, while I rocked him back and forth and told him that I loved him so much and that everything was going to be alright! I knew that his mind was set on his thoughts, but I still wanted to be there and hold him and tell him everything is going to work out! We spend a wonderful but stressful few months. November came and things started to get worst for us. We broke up... We were still friends and wanted to work things out and get back together! Honestly I though he was never going to come back. December 31, 2015 Him and I was going to get back together. We were waiting for the ball to drop... unfortunately we didn't get back together. I told him I wanted to make it official the next time we meet up. So a week later, I went over to his house to spend time with him, my stupid self still didn't feel like it was the right time.. so I told him I need more time. He was okay with it even though he really wanted me back that weekend. I'm not going to give full details but here we go... We struggled and argued and everything for a while, we were planning to see each other and make February 14th the last day we talk ever because I wasn't ready quite yet and he couldn't be friends with someone that he loves very much. Well I went to his house February 12th. That weekend I would never forget... I hurt him emotionally! I never meant to! I loved him so much! He means the world to me! That Saturday all the questions and answers and truths came out. I hurt him! And I couldn't take that back... I really did love him! I wanted to make things right! I lied to him, I was selfish at first. He poured his heart out to me, and I ended up hurting it really bad! That Sunday that were going to stop talking to each other, was going to end up being the day I asked him out and get him back forever! Now, I'm stuck!! He is hurt! My friends are hurt! Some things I can't take back... I really wish I could though! If there was a way to take all this back and do the right thing... I would do it as fast as I can! I love him, I want to be with him. But now I can't.. Everyone I know I lied and I know I hurt him really bad, I shouldn't have a chance with him ever again. But this is not the real Evan. The real Evan won't hurt anyone, he loves everyone and wants to make things right!! I need help. I probably will never get him back, but as God once said, "NEVER GIVE UP". A saying out there too, "FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU LOVE". And I love this guy so much. I hurt him really bad. I want to show him that I do care! That I do love him! I NEED to show him that I can be a better person than this! It is going to take forever for me to fix this, but I'm not going to give up! I love this guy so much, I would jump in front of a thousand bullets to keep him alive. That means a lot! If you are reading this... I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH!! I AM GOING TO DO WHATEVER I CAN TO FIX THIS! TO PROVE TO YOU I'M BETTER THAN THIS!!! (Some details about this story isn't said, but that doesn't matter. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! And I want to show him that I care and love him with all my heart!!!)
2 Comments
Maria
2/17/2016 04:19:22 pm
I hope everything works out boo I love you
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Jaden
2/20/2016 07:50:38 am
Aw.. that a shame. I hope it all turns out okay!
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Author of the HeavenAuthor:
Evan (me). I am the Author of this Heaven. I write about events, feelings, my photography, and well everything that happens in my life here. I hope you enjoy my writing. Any question or anything please message me on the contact page. Archives
February 2018
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