Why do I call him? Why does he answer?
Why does he call me? Why do I answer? I'm so frustrated when we talk. I don't know what to say to him or anyone anymore. I feel like I'm going to say something that could ruin everything. I don't want to mess everything up! I am so upset and just depressed, I don't know what to do anymore. It's getting to the point that I don't know why I fight! Why I even try to talk to him, when in the end probably nothing good will come out of it? When he calls... Why do I answer? I know I don't want to hurt anyone's feels, but right now I feel like everyone is ripping out my insides and throwing them on the ground and stomping on them! Why do I keep/deal with the pain? Because I don't want to hurt anyone and I've messed up with my life, and I don't want others have to go through what I have! For all I know, he could be talking behind my back, when I text or call him, he regrets answering the text or the call! So if he truly feels that... Then why doesn't he tell me? I've messed up, I know but still! I just want to wake up one morning and feel good about everything!!! Why can't I get that? Why can't I be fucking normal? Why? I want to be able to talk to him/her/them/those (everyone) and at the end of out conversation I don't want to cry or scream!!
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Author of the HeavenAuthor:
Evan (me). I am the Author of this Heaven. I write about events, feelings, my photography, and well everything that happens in my life here. I hope you enjoy my writing. Any question or anything please message me on the contact page. Archives
February 2018
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